


Better With Time

by Anonymous



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Coming Out, First Time, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-13
Updated: 2015-08-13
Packaged: 2018-04-14 13:10:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4565817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Nate discovers that Sid is gay, it gets him thinking about things. Things like how it might feel like to have Sid fuck him into next week.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Better With Time

**Author's Note:**

> This is supposed to be a thesinbin kink meme fill. However, when I went to post it today I got a message indicating that it's been locked or deleted? Does anyone know what happened? I wasn't finished playing in that sandbox. :'(
> 
> I can't remember the prompt verbatim, but the concept was that Player A (herein known as Sid) comes out to Player B (herein known as Nate). After Nate processes this nugget of news, he can't stop thinking about kissing Sid or having sex with him, etc.
> 
> I really hope the OP lurks around these parts, because I don't know how else to post this now that I can't access the meme.

Being good buddies with Sidney Crosby was an honour for Nate, make no mistake. If someone had told him five years ago that he'd be spending just half the time he presently was with the pride of Cole Harbour he would have gotten his parents to invest in pig flight technology instead of his hockey career.

Nate's first full NHL off-season was spent with Sid as though they were lifelong friends. They practiced together, ate meals together, even went shopping together. Seeing Sid deliberate over chia seeds was an exercise in patience.

He'd had a girlfriend in his rookie year. He could even say that he may have even been in love with her at one point. But eventually through distance and lack of a mutual home base they grew disinterested in one another. He knew it was time to let go when the idea of spending time with Sid was more exciting to him than Vanessa, as gorgeous as she was.

Sid was a busy man in theory but always seemed to have time for Nate. With the amount of time they were spending Nate wondered how he could get to even half of his other commitments. And you'd think a guy like Sid would have no trouble with the ladies. Yet he'd never seen anyone associated with Sid, nor had he heard any stories about past girlfriends. Not that Nathan was really looking to pry, but the lack of information about Sid's sexual history was downright unusual. Didn't he have normal, human urges like the mere mortals around him? He didn't think he'd ever seen Sid even look at a woman the same way someone his age would and should.

By their second off-season together they'd grown quite close. He saw Sid almost on a daily basis, which was more than he could say for his own immediate family. By then Nate felt safe enough to ask about it because if Sid really was government funded and operated robot then he, as a law-abiding Canadian taxpayer, deserved to know.

"Oh, uh, that kind of thing, uh, is private and, uh, not very interesting to begin with."

Nate put his hands on his hips. "What am I, the media? You can tell me."

"It's really not interesting at all," Sid insisted, his voice getting smaller and smaller with each word.

"You've never said anything about girlfriends or getting laid or anything. Do you even like them?" Nate laughed until he saw Sid look down quietly at his feet. "Wait... do... you even..."

"Lift, bro?" Sid's mouth was laughing but his eyes looked flighty.

He hadn't come into this conversation expecting to ask Sid "Dude, are you gay?"

"Um," Sid was staring at his feet again. "Yeah."

"Oh my God," Nate blurted without thinking. "I mean, t-that's... great. I mean, that's fine. Totally fine. Normal. That's..."

"We really don't need to talk about it," Sid said, pressing his lips into a thin line.

"Sure. Sure. If that's what you want." 

"If you don't want to we don't have to do lunch today."

"No I want to," Nathan grabbed his keys. "I drive? Or you can drive. Or we can both drive. It's not a big deal-"

"Just go," Sid snapped, pushing Nate out the door.

 

They'd planned on getting tacos. Nate liked tacos, that's why he chose it. Did Sid like tacos? Wouldn't he want to eat something nicer? Didn't rich, gay guys have better taste in food than messy, greasy tacos (that were sometimes euphemisms for female genitalia)? Sid had just told him he was gay. Sidney Crosby was gay.

Needless to say, Nate had trouble concentrating on the road.

Sid looked annoyed in the passenger seat. "Nate, you seem uncomfortable. Maybe we should just go back."

"I'm not uncomfortable, why would you think I'm uncomfortable?"

"Because you're gripping the steering wheel so hard that you're leaving hand marks."

Nate relaxed his fingers ever so slightly. "I was just thinking that... maybe you don't want to eat tacos. Maybe you'd like to have something... a little more refined?"

Sid crossed his arms over his chest. "Does this have anything to do with you learning that I'm gay? Remember, you're the one who asked."

"To be fair, I thought you might have been a robot."

"Why would you think I'm a robot?"

"Because-" On second thought... "Never mind."

"This is why I don't like to tell people," Sid said with a sigh. "They freak out." Nate wasn't even sure how to respond to that and was relieved when Sidney continued. "I get it. It's kind of a big deal, I guess. When people find out someone's gay it's like their entire perception of that person has changed. You can't help second guessing everything that happened in the past, looking for signs or something. Like when a person snaps and goes on a shooting rampage. Same thing, right?"

Was Sid being sarcastic? He couldn't tell.

"Uh, no, no," Nate ventured. "It's cool. It's just that, no offense, but-I mean, I didn't mean to say no offense but, uh, I mean I hope you don't take it the wrong way, but-"

"Just fucking say it," Sid said with a groan.

"-You don't act, you know, gay." Off Sid's glare, Nate quickly added "Not that, uh, there's a... specific way gay people act..."

"Because I'm a hockey player? I'm not the only gay player in the NHL, if that's what you're thinking."

"Uh, and you dress like, uh..."

"Like I don't know how to? Not every gay man is obsessed with fashion."

Nate narrowed his eyes. "Okay okay. I just-"

"Assumed that I was straight based on your preconceived stereotypes about homosexuality?"

"Don't think I won't smash the car on your side," Nate growled, balling his fist to smack Sid in the shoulder.

"I'm just messing with you." Sidney winced and rubbed at the place of impact. "I get it Nate. You just need some time to adjust to the idea. Your reaction isn't even the worst I've had, and I haven't even told that many people. You don't have to worry about me getting pissed off about you making socially insensitive remarks. It's okay. We're friends."

Yeah. They were friends. As long as he could stay Sid's friend then they really would be okay.

 

Nate would be lying if he said that Sid's coming out didn't change his opinion of Sid just a little bit. Or that he didn't start to reassess the nature of his relationship with Sid. The fact that Sid had sex with men and not women meant something. He wasn't sure what, but he kind of wanted to find out.

He tried to weave the topic back into their conversation during a round of golf the way Sidney did for hockey. It didn't seem to be working so he just flat out said it. "So you got a boyfriend?"

Sid froze, then cursed under his breath. "You did that on purpose so I'd flub my shot, didn't you?"

It never hurt to multitask. "No. I was just curious." In fact, he couldn't stop thinking about it since yesterday. What did his parents think? Was it difficult to keep things on the down low? Was he happy? Life as Sidney Crosby even during the formative years was never easy. Throwing in a gay crisis wasn't going to help any.

"No, I don't 'got' a boyfriend, Nate." Sid took a few practice strokes.

"Why not?"

Sid managed to halt his backswing and then turn to glare at Nate. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Sorry." Major golf faux pas to talk while someone was preparing. He waited patiently for Sidney to finish his stroke before trying again. "I mean, you're not ugly. And you got the ching ching to buy the bling bling. You could probably just go up to any gay guy and get him if you really wanted." Hell, Sid could probably turn a straight guy gay if he tried hard enough.

"Yeah, that's how it works," Sid snarked with an eye roll.

"Seriously Sid. I just want to understand. And speed up the, you know, adjustment period."

Sid sighed, not looking at Nate while he raked up his damage in the bunker. "It's hard enough to make a relationship work when a lot of people recognize you and you're on the road all the time when you're straight."

Nate wondered if Sid was unhappy. He asked him point blank, biting his lip as he waited for the answer. Sid deserved to be happy. It just kind of killed him inside to think that someone who had given back so much to the world couldn't find his own inner peace.

"It's..." Sid grabbed his golf bag and motioned at Nate to follow. They continued their walk down the fairway. "Being gay isn't easy. But neither was having people call you 'The Next One'. People are gonna shit on you no matter what. It's life."

"It's not fair," Nate said quietly, because he felt that opinion strongly.

"It's life," Sid repeated with a shrug.

"How does, like, dating work for you guys anyway?" Nate asked next when they'd made it to the green.

"Not much different than straight dating, really," Sid replied. "Well, from my experience at least. I mean, it's a little more covert. But usually people try to fix you up with other gay people they know. My last relationship was with my mom's friend's son. When he came back to visit our moms introduced us. He lives in Toronto now and works as a paediatrician. That relationship worked out longer because it isn't difficult to find reasons to go to Toronto but the distance and the schedule was too much."

"Oh," said Nate to himself. Something about movies or what he'd heard from other people made him wonder if Sid, as a gay man, went around to secret sex clubs in seedy areas of town and had orgies where he fucked or got fucked by a bunch of anonymous leather daddies and saw that as a way of life. Yes, he knew those were just stereotypes and he should have known better but he'd never actually talked to a gay man this candidly about his personal life. They weren't much different after all, he figured. They wanted to meet someone with the same interests and goals in life and settle down and maybe start a family? Wait-

"Nate, it's your turn."

He grabbed his putter, and without much preparation hit the ball about twenty feet past the hole. "So do you still want kids? How does that work?"

"I do," said Sid without hesitation. "You can adopt or you can have a baby through surrogacy. Not to knock on people who go the surrogate route, but I'd go for adoption because there are already so many kids without parents and I don't see the need to bring another person into the world when there's already so many people suffering."

This was the oddest round of golf Nate had ever had and he was sure to shoot over 100 but curse him if he wasn't learning a whole lot that day. This was a side of Sid that he'd never known, and honestly? He kind of wanted to know a lot more.

"You know," Nate began, hoping he wasn't talking out of his ass. "You can adopt a kid by yourself, if you really want to."

Sid shook his head. "Believe me, I've seriously considered it. But you rarely get approved for adoption if you're single and you're on the road all the time. I don't think that'd be fair to the kid anyway. I don't mind waiting though."

There was something a little something different in Sid's eyes and the way he conducted himself for the rest of the day that made Nate think otherwise.

 

As the off-season continued so did the frequency of the time they spent together. Although he didn't ask Sid any more questions about his love life or his personal plans for the future he didn't stop thinking about it.

Nate wondered if Sid was straight what his life would have been like now. He remembered what Sid had said, that dating as a hockey player was hard enough without the element of homosexuality. But he couldn't help but think that had Sid been straight he'd probably already be married with a kid in the flesh, if not in the works. But instead here was this single, fantastic person who, without a family of his own, had the spare time to go golfing with Nate, or play some tennis with Nate, even go clothing shopping at Nate's suggestion.

Sid just stood near him with his arms crossed over his chest and gave his opinion when asked, not touching anything. This was weird. Didn't gay guys like shopping for clothes? Half the reason he'd asked Sid was because he thought Sid would get some enjoyment out of it.

"Me saying that I want to buy new shoes doesn't mean that only I can buy new shoes," Nate pointed out.

"I don't need new stuff," Sid said with a shrug.

"I feel like almost everything you wear is what you've been sent for free."

"What's wrong with that?"

"There's nothing wrong with that. But don't you want to try changing up your style?"

"What's wrong with my style?"

"Nothing. But maybe try the sleeveless workout tops? Show off those guns?"

Sid narrowed his eyes. "No."

It was an apt suggestion of Nate to try to get Sid into other clothes. He thought, maybe, that if he got Sid to dress a little less conservatively then he might up his chance of finding someone. But that was a ridiculous notion, because he was Sidney Fucking Crosby and everyone knew the guy looked good with or without clothing. He didn't need to flaunt his plumage in order to attract a mate.

Nate began to wonder though, what Sid did when he was actually trying to flirt. What kind of guy he found attractive and what he did to make his attraction known. It was a strange concept to even think about. But come to think about it... he wouldn't call Sid a smooth talker, but the guy could make conversation with just about anyone. Chalk it up to good media training. The guy was more socially adept than he was given credit for. Anyone who really knew Sid knew that people tended to gravitate toward him. Including Nate.

He also wondered, just for curiosity's sake, if Sid took charge in the bedroom just like he did on the ice. Innuendos about pitchers and catchers? Although Sid was the kind of guy who wanted things done just so and didn't like changeups in routine Nate could imagine Sid being both.

Wait, what?

 

They went to PEI to meet up with Andy. It was him, Sid, and a few other people from various disciplines. It was fun meeting them and getting to see Andy again was great too, but his favourite part about going to PEI was chilling on the beach at Singing Sands.

"You wanna play some volleyball?" Sid asked, already peeling off his shirt to do so. Nate knew that Sid had eight years on him and that he was still growing into his body a little bit but dayum if he didn't admit to himself that Sid's shoulders looked good: thick and all muscle. Nate still had a slight height advantage against Sid but Sid looked like he could push Nate around and absolutely wreck him-

"Yes or no?"

"Nah." Nate stretched and dug his toes into the sand. "You guys enjoy."

"Watch my stuff, eh?" Sid dropped his shirt onto his towel and jogged towards the volleyball nets. And okay, Nate was watching Sid a little bit. His ass looked huge in his swim trunks. Imagine if he'd gone into the water.

He tried not to think about Sid-or anything really-while he slipped on his sunnies with the intention of doing nothing except watching the waves roll in and thanking Mother Nature for creating this blessed day.

Nate was close to dozing off when Sid plunked down onto his towel (Nate swear to God he heard some of the sand singing underneath), panting and glistening with sweat. He didn't stop watching Sid as he twisted the cap off a bottle of water and brought it to his lips. He had nice, full lips. Just like his shoulders and his ass. Simple observation. A bead of water escaped and ran down Sid's chin, down the pulsating neck until it was lost among the droplets of sweat on his chest. Again, also a simple observation.

"I got hit in the face," Sid said, pointing to his cheek and wincing. Nate leaned forward on instinct. He had really nice cheekbones. When did that happen? He used to have all that pudgy youth on his face. "And we didn't even win. Although one of the other guys had a double touch on one point, I'm pretty sure." He took off his backwards cap to pour some water into his hair, then onto his face and down his neck. With the sunlight casting shadows at all the right angles he looked breathtaking.

"What do you think?"

"Whuh?" Nate retracted back into his seat on instinct.

"The guys wanna go to a local seafood place for dinner. You in?" Sid worked the water through his hair and sent little drops of water flying into the air. It was a little distracting, even if the slicked back result was kind of attractive.

"Sure, why not? And watch it Rover, you're getting me wet."

Sid responded by deliberately splashing more water in Nate's direction. His insistence that Sid stop resulted in a more vigorous drenching. And his attempts to stop Sid ended in a grapple that sent Nate accidentally stumbling on top of him. His skin felt hot and slick and whoa-

"Oh shit," Nathan threw himself back onto his own towel. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, like, make you feel violated or anything."

"Violated?" Sid repeated, face scrunched up with annoyance. "Are you kidding me?"

"Uh..."

"Nate, you seriously need to chill." Sid moved in closer and dropped his voice to a whisper. "I'm the same person as I was before. You don't have to act any different, okay?"

That wasn't true, Nate thought to himself petulantly while Sid stood up to brush the sand off his body. Everything felt different now. Everything was different now. This wasn't the same Sid he knew from just a few days ago.

 

It only took one night for Nate to second guess the above conclusion. And it happened through very embarrassing circumstances. Well, kind of embarrassing. He was still a teenager. He could still have wet dreams and not be super embarrassed about them, right?

That wasn't even the embarrassing part. The fact that it featured Sid was the embarrassing part.

He'd woken up before the dream had climaxed (which was either a relief or a disappointment, he wasn't really sure), but his body definitely left no ambiguity as to his enjoyment of it. And that too, was embarrassing. Not that having a wet dream about Sidney Crosby was really something to be embarrassed about, but having a wet dream about his buddy Sid was.

This didn't automatically mean he was gay or he was attracted to Sid. He'd had weirder dreams where he quit the NHL to become a fisherman but did that mean he wanted to do that in real life? Hell no.

There. That was settled. Now he had something else he needed to tame.

With a groan, he reached into his boxers and began to stroke himself. He thought about Vanessa, then back to the first wet dream he'd ever had (and still vividly remembered) involving his childhood best friend's older sister Danielle, then strayed toward the one he'd just woken up from with Sid strong and solid against him, hips rolling into him, filling him, hitting that spot that had Nate pushing back for more and gripping harder at the mattress-

With one last cry warmth flowed out of him and he laid flat back into his bed, sweating and gasping for breath.

Oh God this was bad.

He checked his phone after he'd showered off the shame off his body and saw a text from Sid asking if he wanted to drive up a little for golf, then fish and chips with Andrew MacDonald. Nate shook off the initial feeling that he'd have to decline the invitation just to give himself time to shake off his morning trauma. But on the other hand giving himself time and calling it a trauma was really just overinflating what was really nothing to be worried about. So what if he'd dreamt about having sex with Sid and then gotten off to a recollection of said dream?

They talked shop through the entire round of golf, like any other day. Just like any other day, Sid beat Nate by more than ten strokes. Sid was kind of good at golf, just like he was good at tennis, ping pong, volleyball, baseball, the list went on. And with all those aforementioned sports, you could really see the physical exertion and steely determination exemplified with each flex of muscle off his arm-sculpting polo, each bead of sweat running down his bare chest, and okay, maybe that was kind of hot.

"You sucked even more than usual, Nate," Sid noted in dead pan when they totalled their scores after the eighteenth.

Yeah, well, he wasn't about to explain to Sid why that may have been.

The thing was, Sid was a good-looking guy. Even with that stupid facial hair. His face was a little distracting sometimes, even before Nate found out Sid was gay. And he liked the attention Sid gave him. Why though? Why did Sid give so much of himself to Nate? Of all the people he could have picked he'd chosen Nate. Maybe... Sid liked him? He'd never had that sense before and he still didn't get that sense now. But he'd never sensed that Sid was gay either, so maybe observation wasn't one of Nate's strong points.

If Sid kissed him though, or fucked him, he wondered how it would feel. Would he behave differently than normal? Would it be like Nate's dream? Maybe the problem was Nate. Maybe if Nate made Sid believe that it was something he might be interested in doing then Sid might pick up on it and then initiate an encounter. Maybe Nate would consider it. Sid looked like he'd be a good kisser. Those lips looked well maintained.

"Nathan, are you okay?" Andy waved his hand in front of Nate's face. "You seem a little spacey today."

"Just, uh, didn't sleep too well last night," Nate replied. "Thinking about... the upcoming season."

"What about the upcoming season?" Sid came in, balancing a tray of three servings of fish and chips in one hand and another of drinks in the other.

"Dude, what do we owe you?" Andy took his wallet out.

"A group picture for the shop owner," he gestured to a giggling woman jogging up to them with a camera.

The guy could do fucking anything. And when he glanced over at Sid smiling for the photo, he began to wonder if he was developing another type of hunger.

 

Andy parted ways with them after dinner. On the drive home Sid and Nate spoke incessantly about recent trades and their predictions for the next season. It felt so familiar and comfortable that Nate was beginning to second guess those thoughts he was having earlier. He couldn't be attracted to Sid, right? They were like brothers. Yeah, brothers didn't think about kissing and touching each other. He should think of that. Not kissing and touching, about being brothers!

As Sid pulled up to Nate's street, he said "Hey, can I ask you something? It's kind of important. Is it okay if I come inside?"

Oh God yes please.

Wait, no no no, was Nate ready for this? Was he sure he even wanted this?

Sid was looking at him expectantly.

Nate took a slow breath. For all his nineteen years on this planet Earth he'd never even entertained the idea of wanting to be intimate with another man until the past couple of days. And if someone had told him five years ago that he was about to have his gay cherry popped by the pride of Cole Harbour he probably would have run out of the house screaming. But he looked at Sid for a moment and... yeah. He wanted it. He wanted Sid.

He exhaled. "Okay."

Sid took the steps up the porch first despite the fact that Nate had the keys. He could hear the lock rattling as his shaking hands opened the door.

Sid toed his shoes off and headed immediately to the couch in the living room, then motioned for Nate to follow. He was probably going to get a whole new sofa set after they'd defiled it, wasn't he?

Nate sat down beside Sid and carefully placed his hands over the balls of his knees.

"So you know I've been thinking about this a lot and I know you're a great guy and I trust you..."

This was really happening. Fuck it, he was going for it. He slid closer to Sid so that their thighs were touching.

"...Would you help out at my hockey school?"

"Your hockey school?" Nate repeated, scooting away on instinct.

"Yeah. I'm not asking for a big commitment or anything and you don't even have to go everyday but if you could help me out with the teaching and the coaching I think the kids would love it. Anything would help. You don't have to give me an answer now but we can work with your schedule and how much you want to be involved if you'd like to help. Just let me know as soon as you can."

"Uh," Nate stood up, because what the fuck. "Sure, yeah. I'll keep my schedule open. Whatever you need me for I'm game."

"Really?" Sid was beaming at him, and it was unexpected, but it was also really nice. "So you can help out? You'd be helping the kids with drills and exercises and stuff like that. Or depending on what you want to do it can be something else. We can work that out in the next week or two."

"Yeah. Sure. I'd love to help. Count me in."

"Thanks Nate. I owe you one, okay?"

Sid looked so happy, so grateful, but Nate couldn't shrug away the feeling of disappointment in the bottom of his stomach.

 

After that he didn't see as much of Sid for a few weeks. He was getting more and more involved final stages of planning for the Sidney Crosby Hockey School. They did a Tim Hortons commercial together, which was kind of fun (and Sid actually looked kind of good in the uniform, if that was possible). Their agent suggested that they pay a visit to a family whose youngest child was battling cancer, so they did that together too. But besides those, their usual hang outs were becoming far and few between. He was starting to miss Sid, if he was being honest.

So when Sid asked him how many hours he'd be able to devote to his hockey school he didn't hesitate to answer with a "However much you need me."

Sid seemed almost taken aback. "If you gave me a time frame or something we could work around that. I mean, the kid's day runs from eight to four so that's like a full day-"

"Seven to five then. Monday to Friday."

Relinquishing his personal freedom for that week was worth it though just to see Sidney's eyes light up. "You're awesome, Nate. I seriously owe you one."

The hockey school, like almost every undertaking Sid attempted, went surprisingly well. Sid had a lot of help and throwing his name around definitely got him ins where most people wouldn't but that didn't discount how much work he'd put into it. All the volunteers were enthusiastic and the kids were engaged. The students were all so cute and well behaved. Although they couldn't get enough of Sid and Nate knew he paled in comparison to the great Sidney Crosby the kids still appreciated Nate's presence, and Nate appreciated their appreciation. It was a surprisingly enjoyable and memorable five days of Nate's life. Best of all, he got to see Sid all day, every day. Before school, during school, after school, it was fantastic.

After the last day they went out for a pretty low-key birthday dinner with a group of guys consisting of some of Sid's childhood friends, some hockey people and miscellaneous acquaintances. Nate volunteered to be the designated driver for a few people, including Sid, but the drinking was pretty non-existent. They still had the hockey school cruise the next morning and although Sid never said that they couldn't drink during dinner it was still heavily implied by Sid that they'd still serve as role models even on the ship.

Even still, the apples of Sid's cheeks were a little rosy on the drive back and he was giggling at all of Nate's jokes. They were good jokes, but not that good. Sid though, he looked flushed and loose and relaxed and eyes on the road eyes on the road.

When he pulled up in front of Sid's house his passenger glanced at the clock on the dashboard and hummed. "It's still kind of early. Do you wanna come inside and try out some of the games you got me?"

Nate was skeptical this time but accepted the invitation anyway.

They worked pretty far through Assassin's Creed before they both realized the time.

"Shit, I should probably go, it's so late," Nate said, making a big show of checking his watch. He stood up to stretch and work the kinks out of his neck.

"Oh God, I'm sorry. We got so into the game, I didn't even realize the time..." Sid said. Nate nodded and waited. "You can crash here if you want." 

And there it was.

Sid must have known what he was doing, inviting Nate over to his place after dinner, keeping them up past midnight with the gift that Nate had given him, then suggesting that he spend the night, on his birthday no less. He must have thought that Nate would be hard pressed to turn Sid down with all that in play. Nate didn't care if Sid may have been taking advantage. He wanted this too and he was going to take this chance. And he wasn't going to wait any longer.

Nate grabbed the front of Sid's shirt, pulled him close and kissed him.

He hadn't even the chance to register the feel of Sid's lips or the warmth along Sid's front side because Sid was reeling back and bringing his arms up to push Nate away with a "What the hell are you doing?!"

Nate stumbled and fell back onto the couch. "I... uh... I thought you wanted..."

"You thought I invited you inside to have sex with you?" Sid exclaimed.

Geez, when he said it like that. "It's your birthday today and I thought...." Oh fuck it. They were two grown men. He could talk to Sid straight. "Look. I'm just saying if you're interested-" which Sid had to be, come on, Nate was giving him a free pass and he was pretty sure that was every gay man's dream "-then I'm game."

Sid looked completely lost and it was actually all kinds of adorable. "I don't understand what's happening. You're not gay. You don't like me."

"I wanna try it. With you. Please?" Nate insisted, edging closer to Sid. Maybe Nate wasn't gay but he was a man and as a man knew that an offer like that was difficult for his kind to turn down, straight or gay. And maybe he did like Sid. A lot.

He wasn't expecting Sid to recoil and jump over the couch to create a physical barrier between them. "Nate, are you serious?" Nate nodded, a little hesitation beginning to creep in, because this really wasn't how he expected things to play out. What was happening? They should have been on their way to fucking. Instead, Sid looked frightened and frantic. It was kind of hurtful. "Are you just, like, curious about gay sex or what?"

"Yeah, a little. But, Sid, I've been thinking about you a lot lately, and..." There really wasn't much else that needed to be said, was there?

"Nate," Sid said in a tiny voice. "We're friends."

"What, we can be friends but we can't be... you know, more than friends? Why not?"

"An eighty year old man and a ten year old kid can be friends but that doesn't mean they should also fuck," Sid muttered under his breath.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Nate demanded.

"You're kind of young for me," Sid said, biting the same lip Nate had just a taste of a moment ago.

"Not really," he was beginning to sound whiny like when he knew he wasn't getting something he wanted. "I'm nineteen. Nineteen is legal everywhere in Canada for everything. I'm single, you're single, it doesn't have to get complicated."

"Nate, I don't think this is a good idea. This isn't a knock on you. You're a great, attractive guy, and I'd be honoured. But things would get real messy and that would definitely ruin our friendship. I don't want to ruin our friendship. Okay?"

He knew he'd been bested, so he threw up the white flag. "Okay."

"Probably best if you went home now."

Nathan sighed. "Okay."

 

The thing was, even after all that drama and Sid's undisputed rejection, he couldn't stop thinking about it or wanting it. Sid was his friend, yes. His really hot friend who looked like he could drive a train through Nate and leave him begging for more.

He wasn't a quitter though. If professional sports only taught him one thing it was that nothing was achieved without a little perseverance. And he never quit on anything he really wanted.

Things were predictably terse during the cruise but Sid, ever the gentleman sought Nate out afterwards to smooth things over. He suggested that they just forget the conversation from last night. Nathan nodded but had no intention of following Sid's advice.

He liked the relationship he had with Sid. They got along really well and were good friends. He imagined that happy couples were two good friends who also had sex with each other. He and Sid could be that couple if Sid would let him. And that was where Nate would try to start. He knew Sid was an old school kind of guy. Traditional, one could say.

He suggested that they go out for lunch on Monday at a place Sid liked to frequent. When Sid accepted, Nate began to deliberate. He was aiming to impress and what girls (and probably guys) were impressed by was thoughtfulness.

That was how he ended up on Sid's doorstep with a jar of coconut oil cradled in one arm and bag of quinoa in the other.

Sid squinted at his offering. "Are you trying to ask me to cook for you?"

"They're an alternative to flowers," Nate said, biting the inside of his mouth nervously. Sid didn't seem like a flowers and fine chocolates kind of guy and Nate hadn't the slightest idea what a guy gave to another guy he trying to court so he got Sid something that would at least be useful. 

"Are you trying to tell me that you've been eating flowers?"

Sid was so dumb sometimes. Good thing he had looks. "No you idiot. I'm giving you these instead of flowers. Like how a date usually starts."

"A date," Sid repeated.

"Yeah, a date," Nate confirmed, smiling widely and gesturing at Sid to accept the gifts.

Sid instead brought his hands up to his face. "Nate... what are you doing?"

"I like you," he replied quietly, because it was the truth.

"Nate..."

"Just take the damn food and let me buy you lunch, okay?"

Sid shook his head. "This is a really bad idea."

"I want to," Nate insisted, beginning to feel the same desperation again from Sid's birthday night.

"You should really reconsider what you want." With that, Sid gently shut the door in Nate's face.

Nate's arms sagged. He really hadn't expected things to go that terribly. He'd gotten up on his feet again, he'd strategized and prepared but still failed.

And hockey clichés aside, this hurt on a personal level. He didn't understand why Sid kept turning him down. He was gay and single. Nate was... a little confused about his sexuality but also single. He didn't understand the problem. Was it the age thing? The distance during the NHL season? His haircut? There must have been something he was doing wrong.

 

He'd spent the rest of the day mulling over his relationship with Sid, wondering if he'd ruined it (without even any payoff). He was lucky to have had a relationship to ruin in the first place. His childhood buddies were going to kill him. They'd probably do even worse if they ever found out how he'd done it.

Sid texted him the next morning, asking him to come over to explain things with the offer of Chinese takeout for lunch. They had a training session with Andy together in the afternoon so clearing the air beforehand was probably the right thing to do.

He took a seat at Sid's kitchen island and accepted the container of fried rice.

After a few bites in mutual silence Sid set his container down. "So I wanted to talk to you, about... you know."

Nate swallowed the food in his mouth before talking. "I get it. I'm too young for you. You don't like me. It's fine."

"It's not that. I mean yeah, you are a little young for me, but that's not the reason why I turned you down." Sid took a deliberate breath before continuing. "You've never been with a guy, have you?" It must have been a rhetorical question because he didn't even let Nate answer. "I'm not the best at relationships. Probably ruined every single once I've been in. I'm distant, I focus too much on hockey, I'm away all the time, I'm not affectionate enough, I'm too private, I don't like to talk about feelings... the list goes on and on. And I don't want your first experience with a guy to be such a negative one. I don't leave the best first impression, is what I'm saying."

Oh my God, this was so cute. Sid was insecure. Nate had to laugh.

"What's so funny?" Sid narrowed his eyes.

"You think you'd make a bad boyfriend because you're not perfect and instead you're just a regular guy who likes hockey." Nate had to laugh again.

"No Nate, I have a lot of issues-"

"So does everyone. No one can be the best at everything, Sid. You say you're distant and not a feelings guy... guess what? That's like the majority of the male population. And the hockey stuff. It's your passion, it's your livelihood. You should realize that I of all people would understand that."

Sid just looked down at his chow mein. "If you're going to be with a guy you should at least have someone who can be around you during the season."

"I don't want just someone, Sid. I want you." He looked at Sid, eyes still down, lip bitten and God, did he want. "I've thought about this, and it scared me. I'll admit that. But I want to do this. And I only want to do this with you. I know it won't be easy. I know a lot of things could go wrong. Just give me a chance, okay?"

Sid finally looked up at Nate, unclipping his bottom lip from his teeth. "Okay."

Nate was out of his seat so fast that he knocked Sid's bar stool down. "Can I kiss you?"

Sid grinned. "Okay."

 

To say that he was unfocused during their workout session with Andy was an understatement. He couldn't stop staring at Sid, and he couldn't stop thinking about their kisses earlier. Sid's mouth was designed for them. His bottom lip was even more tender and sweet along Nate's tongue than he'd even dared to dream. He could've kissed Sid for hours.

"We still have to finish eating and then drive up to meet Andy," Sid had said-whimpered really-as he pulled away half-heartedly.

"One more, please," Nate insisted, and he made it one to remember.

He couldn't help himself to another taste when they alone in the change room. Sid smelled like hard work and adrenaline.

"Let me buy you dinner tonight," said Nate, working his hand inside the sweaty backside of Sid's t-shirt between kisses.

"Early dinner," Sid panted, curling his fingers into Nate's hair.

They went for pizza because it was quick and easy (and close driving distance back to Sid's). Nate was hellbent on paying but ended up not having to on the owner's insistence. He could quickly get used to having Sid as a trophy date.

"When I buy a new car I'm bringing you with me," he said as he pressed his hand against the small of Sid's back. Sid giggled and let Nate guide him towards the car.

They kissed as they passed through the front door, only stopping to take their shoes off. Sid pressed him against the wall and mouthed at a patch of skin beneath his shirt collar. Nate groaned, and when he arched his hips to meet Sid's there was no mistaking what they had in store for the night. He tried not to overthink the foreign idea of another man's growing erection grinding against his own. And not just any man's. It was Sid, his friend, the best hockey player in the world, the only man who'd ever made him feel this way. He just needed some time to adjust to the idea (and he'd been doing pretty well with that lately, if he did say so himself). Instead he focused on how much he liked what it was leading to.

"Sid," he choked up as they rutted against each other desperately. "I want you to fuck me."

He felt Sid moan against his neck and grip his hands harder on his shoulders. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Nate replied, feeling his knees start to give way at the pressure of Sid's lips on his earlobe.

"It's going to hurt."

"I don't care," he said determinedly. "Give me everything you've got."

Sid let out an emphatic "Fuck," before taking Nate by the hand and leading him up to the bedroom.

Sid's body was always a sight to behold. For too long it was only to be seen or admired by Nate, not experienced. When he shed the last of his clothing and climbed into bed Nate could help running his hands over those broad shoulders, down his muscled back, anywhere and everywhere he pleased. His tongue likewise explored the inside of Sid's mouth, his neck, whatever skin he could find.

"You still want me to fuck you?" Sid murmured after sucking a kiss against Nate's chest.

"Yeah, yeah," Nate chanted, squeezing a handful of Sid's ass for emphasis. "Tell me what to do."

"Okay." Sid rummaged through his bedside table until producing the lube and a condom. "I'm going to start by stretching you out."

Nate glanced at Sid's cock, plump and red and bobbing against his stomach and thought that was a good idea. He'd seen cocks before-his own, his teammates' in the shower room, hell even Sid's at World's-so it really shouldn't have been a whole new revelation. But he couldn't shake off the anxious knot in his stomach. "Are you going to be able to fit that inside me?"

"That's the plan," Sid said with a reassuring kiss, but then backed off quickly. "I mean, if you still want to. It's kind of a lot to take for someone who's doing it for the first time with another guy."

"I want to," Nate insisted, letting his hands roam over Sid's strong thighs. "I'm ready."

Nate would be lying if he said it wasn't weird or that he wasn't nervous. He wanted to tell himself that this wasn't a big deal but in his heart he knew it was. But Sid's touch was gentle, careful, and most importantly trustful. He'd never had anyone's fingers penetrate him like this before or had any man's erected length in such close proximity. It was a lot of new sensations. His resilience was rewarded though when the pad of Sid's finger hit a spot inside him that had him seeing stars.

"Fuck, do that again," Nate groaned, gripping tightly at the sheets as Sid obliged his request. It wasn't long before he was begging Sid for more.

"Okay," Sid was panting, shuddering on top of him. "I'll go slowly. Tell me if you need me to stop. Promise you'll tell me."

"Okay."

It did hurt, at first, when Sid was pressing into him and filling him up entirely. Nate could barely breathe at the feel of it, and it got even worse when Sid began moving. But not for a moment did he want Sid to stop, he'd kill Sid if he stopped, especially when he found the spot again that made Nate cry out and push back, searching again for that contact that reduced him to a trembling, whimpering mess.

It got even better when they found their rhythm. And when Sid reached under them and took Nate in his hand, he didn't last much longer, and they lost it together.

They didn't talk or a while, after Sid had worked him through the orgasm, after Sid had pulled out, carefully, after they collapsed back against the sheets, gasping for breath as if it had been their first.

"Was it okay?" Sid whispered, his palm running soothing strokes up and down Nate's forearm.

It hadn't just been okay. It surpassed even his most vivid and erotic of dreams. Better still, the accompanying shame that came with those dreams was replaced with the thorough satisfaction that came with scoring the game-winning goal. Or, you know, getting fucked into next week.

Nate, still shy to speak, simply nodded and leaned forward to brush Sid's lips with his own.

He felt Sid's mouth form a smile as he kissed Nate back.

 

Their relationship did change after that night. Nate had been a little naive thinking that they could simply keep the same level of friendship they'd previously had and just add sex. It did kind of typify what their new relationship was because they did do the exact same things they use to do with the addition of sex. Nate had just underestimated the frequency of sex, even moreso the frequency he was willing to have it.

"Sex is a form of training," he insisted, winding his arms over Sid's chest to stop the latter from leaving the bed. He spread his thighs open so Sid could feel his developing arousal. "C'mon, split me open."

"C'mon, we gotta go, we're late enough as it is," was Sid's less than compelling counteroffer. "There are other people waiting for us besides Andy."

Ugh, other people meant inevitable group lunches and lazy afternoons on the beach which could've instead been intense afternoons in bed.

"Nathan," Sid crossed his arms over his chest and gave him the glare down. It wasn't nearly as effective while naked but Nate wasn't telling Sid that anytime soon.

"Fine, I'm coming," he said with a grunt, pushing the sheets aside. Besides Sid being too much of a morning person there wasn't much he'd change about their new relationship.

That wasn't completely true, but they were things Nate had come to expect. He'd love to be able to tell everyone about the two of them, let everyone know how happy he was. But he knew they had to be careful. It came with the territory and Sid promised that soon they could tell their parents. He wondered how they'd would react. On one hand, they probably would be surprised to find out that he'd been seeing another man. On the other hand that man was Sidney Crosby, so out of all the men in town, Nate had snagged the best one.

On the same token, he wished that Sid was just a little more affectionate. It wasn't like he was asking Sid to kiss him in public, nor was he saying that Sid wasn't nice or considerate, but he could be nice and considerate to anyone. Nathan just wanted... a little more. Maybe he didn't want a relationship that was like a friendship with fucking. Maybe he wanted something more than that. But he knew it wasn't exactly in Sid's nature to give it out often and Nate could deal with a few minor imperfections in an otherwise excellent boyfriend.

And having a boyfriend, calling Sid his boyfriend still felt a little bizarre. But what else did you call someone who you spent all this time with, slept with, was crazy for and couldn't stop thinking about? The idea was still an adjustment and sometimes when he really had time to think about it he wondered what he'd gotten himself into. But then Sid would turn to him with a smile, a kiss, a touch, and Nate would wonder no more.

Training that day was extra exhausting and Nate barely had the energy to stand up, let alone go out for lunch with the guys (he knew this would happen, he knew it). But Sid always wanted to go so Nate dragged his ass up for it.

His entire body hurt, even slumped against the back of his seat with his arms lying over his thighs. When the waitress took their orders he said "Same" right after Sid had chosen his dish without so much as looking at the menu. Too much effort.

Zach Sill was talking about something-fishing or something equally dry-when he felt a brush of Sid's knuckles against the back of his hand under the table. Nate caught Sid's hand and threaded their fingers together, letting their hands rest together on Nate's knee as Zach droned on to the rapt attention of the others. Sid's lips pressed together in a hidden smile as he kept his eyes on the empty plate in front of him. Sid squeezed Nate's hand one last time, just long enough for him to enjoy the firm pressure of Sid's grip before bringing both elbows onto the table, hands on his chin, nodding along at whatever Zach was gesturing wildly about. 

It wasn't much, but he knew that Sid was trying, and that was all Nate could really ask for. Because if someone had told him five years ago that he'd be dating Sidney Crosby, well, he didn't know then what he knew now. And right at that moment, he couldn't have wanted anything more.


End file.
